That Shit Eating Grin.

As of right now, I'm fucking inspired!! I want to open a print shop. Turmoil Release?
The Revolt?
Turquoise Moon?

Fuck the guys I used to like.

Fuck some of the girls I used to be friends with.

"I'm gonna do my thing and I'm not letting anybody stand in my way. Period." -Arnelle Lozada

FUCKING INSPIRED!! I want to draw!

I love my best friend and it goes both ways!

I'm Happy!!

Thoughts Of None Other.
Excellence has no limits.

E.V.

Marysville, WA

There's something majestic about this picture. Whenever I look at it, all my problems and all my fears disappear. I'm damned proud of this shot. I took it on my vacation in Washington. <3

The Creepy Crawlies Never Seem To Fade.

Sometimes, I hate the people I am friends with. Sometimes, I hate the person I am. I feel as if I'm slipping into this hole and forgetting who I am, what my purpose is in life. Everyone says, you can never know exactly what is going to happen in your future. Then why do they keep asking me what I want to do with my life? I hate how people are so optimistic. Can I please have someone that can be realistic with me, please? Tell me everything honestly. Tell me I'm a screw up. Tell me I'm wasting my life. I need it more than ever. 
You know what's bugging me, really? The closest people to me are the type of people I truly cannot stand.
I hate arrogant, narcissistic, immature kids. The ones that pride their actions on the opinions and approval of others. The ones that are so needy for affection that they'll settle for the sloppiest scum of a boy that shows them the slightest bit of attention. The ones that can never see their fault in a situation. Am I weird? That I don't want to get involved with activities people my age want to do? I've never been clubbing because I despise just the thought of it. A random guy grinding up on you as if you were a dog? Seriously? How is that lady like? How does that make you a gentleman I want to bring home? How are you a respectable person? Do you really expect people to take you seriously? I lack interests in all of the "rebellious" and "promiscuous" activities I once loved.
Obnoxious imbeciles = Drunk Fuckers. Just a side-note.
Although we are young, there's more to life than getting wasted and hooking up. The sad thing is, I feel many kids my age don't care. That's a scary thing; not caring. Do you know what you can do with "not caring?" I'm going on a tangent ramble. I feel so discontent with the people that surround me and I blame myself for every part of it.

Do you know what's inevitable in life? 

I wonder what's it is like to have a life of such substance; where your purpose is standing up for what you believe in and the people that follow you. That's some heavy shit, man.
I want a life with substantial meaning.

The rainy day blog

I tend to blog on rainy days. Why, do you ask? I'm not too sure myself. the rain tends to bring out the true emotions from within. probably the only days i feel comfortable letting my guard down.
Well, it's a rainy, cloudy, very windy day and yet again I'm reminded of the solitary road i'm traveling. this is definitely snuggle, let's forget about our future, never mention our past, i love you kind of weather. I have much that I am confused about at this moment. Particularly on the situation that I'm in. I found my soul mate. Great news right? BUT he lives in LV. I have no idea if he feels the same and sometimes i don't especially cares if he does. All I know is that I want to love him and right now, I do love him. This isn't the premature infatuation most kids my age go through; you know, "I'm unable to concentrate on my work because I just want him to be next to me" or "How am I suppose to go through my day when everything I see reminds me of him." Instead, I am able to do my work knowing that he will be right next to me and I can go through my day because every little thing that reminds me of him, means that he is just a step closer to me. I feel as if I'm rambling and I've lost my train of thought. I don't know, maybe I'll blog something a little later on today or possibly this week.
To the boy who gives warmth to my coldest days: I love you in ways my words don't know how to express.

Pains.

It's that time again. I'm in a blogging mood. AKA I'm confused and need someone to listen to me. Gah, well to start off. I'm in pain, both emotionally and physically. Physically, the pain in my right lower abdomen is insane. I think I may have appendicitis and it literally scares me to death. :((( It's 5:49 and well, I've been up since around 5 because of the pain. It hurts even more to lay down and I could really go for a snooze right about now. :( I'm so scared!! This is perfect timing, too. My family and I are renting a cottage at Bellows because we're tenting our house for termites this Wednesday. My health is becoming a burden and I don't want to ruin anyone's excitement! UGH. I'm going to continue this blog a bit later, the pain is getting to be a bit much right now. But a preview? The emotional side of my pain.
I feel as if I'm trying to repress some feelings or emotions.
I don't know where I stand with Esai. I really adore him.
GROWING PAINS.
xo EV

Randomness of the Sorts.

What are your plans for the weekend? 
Hmm, Well!! Tomorrow is Christmas!
Saturday is errands day and Sunday I'm getting my hair cut with Kyla :D
 
Do you hate more than 3 people? 
I don't have the physical energy to put effort and emotion into hating anyone.
I'm simply fed up with the same old way people act. Frankly, I don't care to be around them, either.
 
How many houses have you lived in? 
Apparently 2. I only remember 1. That's all that matters.
 
Do you pick your wedgies in public? 
Discretely.
 
Favorite candy bar? 
Hmm, Twix! or Reece's :D
 
Have you ever tripped someone? 
Yes, I have. It's rather cruel. (-_-)
 
Least favorite school subject? 
Which ever horrible teacher makes it boring. I love learning.
 
How many pairs of shoes do you own? 
At least 10 (>.<)
 
Do you own a Britney Spears CD? 
I do.
 
Have you ever thrown up in public? 
Yes, once when I was a Wheee one!
 
Name one thing that is always on your mind: 
Music. In one form or another.
 
Favorite genre of music? 
That's tough! Classic Rock by far! *laughs*
 
What brand of toothpaste do you use? 
Colgate, I believe.
 
What time were you born? 
That, I'm not too sure of.
 
Do you like beer? 
I don't.
 
Have you made a prank phone call? 
Jessie &I had our own business firm.
Goats. From Ireland ;)
 
What is the most embarrassing CD you own? 
*sigh* Music isn't something to be embarrassed about.
Whatever soothes your ears.
Noise to one person is a savior's masterpiece to another.

What are you listening to? 
Queen. *Rock Face* Yeahhh!
 
What are your favorite colors? 
Teal, beige, Purple, Charcoal. Hmm, Warm colors basically!
 
How many watches do you own? 
About 10. All of which I do not use.
 
Summer or winter? 
Each has a quality the other lacks.
I can't just choose one over the other. Next question.
 
Is anyone in love with you? 
My family and hopefully a couple of my friends. That's all I can handle right now.
 
What is your favorite color to wear? 
Beige! It goes fabulously with my skin tone. *laughs*
 
Pepsi or Sprite?: 
Rootbeer or nothing.
 
Ever drink Clear Pepsi? 
I have never heard of clear Pepsi.
 
Have you been on a wave runner? 
I don't know what that is! I'm not in the mood to Google at the moment, either. *scrunches face*
 
Have you ever slapped someone? 
Sometimes that's the only way to keep your hos in line. Know what I mean? *giggles*
 
Do you own a robe? 
I don't. It's either a towel or nothing.
 
How many lamps are in your bedroom? 
Just my Disney lamp *smiles*
 
How many coats are in your coat closet? 
Being a Hawaii native.
 
Have you ever had braces? 
*smiles* Fortunately, I have not.
 
Do you still have your tonsils? 
I do!

Do looks matter in pursuit of a serious relationship? 
It's not the entirety of a relationship but looks do matter to a certain degree. Anyone that says it doesn't is a complete liar.
 
Do you use chapstick? 
I do not. That product doesn't even work for me.

When is the last time you went to the dentist? 
It's certainly been a while! I keep my teeth clean though.
 
American Eagle or Abercrombie? 
I despise both.
Abercrombie has sexy models though. Ladies and Men. *giggles*
 
Are you too forgiving? 
I used to be. But now I forgive only where it is deserved. 

How many children do you want? 
Preferably 3 but you aren't able to plan these things when you're only 18, right?

Do you own something from Hot Topic? 
A few jewelry pieces for my piercings, a shirt, maybe a jacket.
I'm not too keen on cheep, trendy stores. 

What is your favorite breakfast meal? 
Bacon, Fried rice, and an egg. That's how we do. *rubs tummy* 

Have you been to the zoo? 
Of course! It's a blast.
 
Ever thought you were in love? 
Many times.
 
Do you untie your shoes when taking them off? 
It all depends on my mood. If I'm tired and lazy, I don't even bother. 

What did you do yesterday? 
I hung out with Kyla, her younger brother, and I think it was her cousin! We saw a movie, went Christmas shopping, looked for Santa, and just walked around Ala Moana. I also introduced them to the Acai bowl. :D
 
Do you like Olive Garden? 
I have never eaten there before.
 
Have you ever called your teacher "mommy"? 
Being that I don't have a mom, I only use that word in reference to another person's mother.

Chuck Norris or David Hasselhoff? 
Chuck Norris kicks ass.
 
Your Nicknames? 
My dad calls me Jacs and Lia calls me Crackie. Everyone else either calls me Jackie or Jaclyn. Not very creative, aye? 

Last time you went to church? 
My home based church? *thinks* Probably my freshmen year of High school.
 
Ever been to Kentucky? 
I haven't traveled East of Texas.

Favorite state to visit? 
Washington and California. Nevada isn't too bad though :D
 
Are you thinking about somebody right now? 
Well, now that you mentioned it. *smiles, giggles*
 
Ever called somebody Boo? 
Jokingly. That's all that word is.
 
Do you smoke? 
Occasionally.
 
Do you own a diamond ring? 
Yes.
 
Are you happy with your life right now? 
I am very content, indeed.
 
Do you like your hair? 
I've grown to love it. I scheduled an appointment to have someone hack away at it though. *squints*
 
Does anyone have a crush on you? 
At this point, I don't have time to even notice.
 
Favorite scary movie? 
Wow, I have no idea. The Haunting in Conneticut?
 
What were you doing in May of 1994? 
Being a silly 3-year old. How about you?
 
Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? 
I don't! I've always wanted one but my dad said Rock is the best music out there. Truth even till this day.
 
Favorite roller coaster? 
The ones that spray water on you :D 

Do you like yourself? 
Confidently speaking, I do. You should, too.
 
Are you closer to your mother or father? 
Always my father. <3
 
Last book you read for fun? 
On the Road by Jack Kerouac. LOVELY!
 
Are you afraid of the dark? 
It depends on my state of mind.
 
Have you ever eaten paste? 
No, I can't say that I have! *laughs*
 
Do you own a webcam? 
It's built-in, baby.
 
Have you ever stripped? 
Always. I can't hop into the shower unless.
 
Pringles or lays? 
Not a potato-chip fan, sorry.
 
Ever use a fake ID? 
No. I beleive in living each year honestly. Otherwise there's nothing to look forward to when I actually am 21.
 
Ever dye or highlight your hair? 
Unforunately, I streaked my hair with bleach. Boy, was that a horrendous idea.
I prefer naturalness all the way.
 
Ever consider a life of crime? 
In other words, a life on the run? A life of hurting other for your own guilty pleasure?
There are so many lifestyles to choose from. I prefer others.
 
Have you ever broken someones heart? 
I would like to think I haven't.
 
Full house or Brady bunch? 
Full house!
 
Are your great-grandparents still alive? 
No, they are not.
 
Ever used crutches? 
Used? No. Played? Hmm, maybe. *winks*
 
Has anyone ever called you a tease? 
Regrettably.
 
Do you have any pets? 
2 African Grey Parrots. Both, might I add, can whistle the Adam's Family theme song.
 
Do you listen to techno music? 
Occassionaly. Electro is more pleasing to my ears.
 
Can you cook? 
I can. I'm pretty damn good, too. *giggles*
 
Ever eat ants on a log? 
*laughs* I have!
 
Do you text message often? 
*sheepishly whispering* There is rarely ever a day I do not!
 
Money or love? 
Love. 

Do you have any scars? 
I do. Beginner's bike-riding luck, you might say.
 
What was the last thing you ate? 
Sushi, hai!
 
Do you enjoy scary movies? 
I definitely do.
 
Relationships or one night stands?: 
I'm a bit weary of both.
 
Big red or Juicy fruit?: 
Juicy, Juicy.

Do you enjoy greasy food? 
Only if it's cooked in my house. We use healthy &clean oil.
 
Have you seen all the Rocky movies? 
The preview for the last one was too pathetic. 

Do you own a box of crayons? 
Of course.
 
Ever had sex and regretted it?
Life moves on even when you don't.
I don't regret anything.
 
Who was the last person you said "I love you" to? 
Lia!

Who was the last person that made you mad? 
This lady that cut me off in the parking lot.

Who was the last person that made you cry? 
I can't remember.
 
Who was the last person that made you laugh? 
The man at the grocery store.
 
Who was the last person that texted you?: 
Lia! (:
 
Who was the last person that called you?: 
Jessie! :D
 
Do you have a crush on someone?
I have feelings for a young man, yes. *smiles*

Whoo! I haven't done a survey I quite some time. How pleasing. (: Well, I have to finish wrapping presents. Merry Christmas (:

Dear Santa,

I want to share things with someone not only special but real; Whether it be just a thought or an intimate action. Someone who I can call after a hard day of work and have them listen and console me. Sometimes friends, as wonderful as they are, aren't enough. That's why we have partners. To fulfill needs that our friends cannot fulfill. I need someone to love unconditionally and who will love me unconditionally back. How does he do it? It's amazing how much a smirk or even just a glance can do wonders to the nerves. It's the only element in the human body that science can't define; which proves that you are in control, completely. I'm not too sure where I'm going with this and maybe I shouldn't. Life truly is amazing and if you don't stand up for yourself and get things done, nothing will happen. Regret is a horrible feeling and I've learned this the hard way.

Right down to the core, I feel as if I'm missing out on an amazing young man and I can't help but to think that he could be everything I need.

Love is the harmony
Desire is the Key.
Love is a melody.
Now sing it with me.
-Lykke Li

3 of a Distant Kind.

I haven’t posted a blog since September, here it is mid-November. Haww, how the days go by. Hm, a lot has happened since the last time I Blogged on here. Let’s see, I was still talking to the lovely boy from Vegas, but it’s been a couple weeks since we’ve talked. I gather he’s rather busy now, getting his life in order and everything. He added me on Facebook! He seems a lot happier these days, too; which is good to see. I’m always here whenever some is down. Yet, I don’t know if I like the fact of only being talked to because of that. Sometimes the cheerer upper needs cheering up.

Well, remember I had a huge crush on the boy in my Art class; whom might I say is also from Vegas? He’s handsome and I would love nothing more than to get to know him but of course, there’s someone else. The boy that sits RIGHT NEXT TO HIM IN CLASS! Now, this, THIS is shocking news; even to me! I have always said that I despised Filipino guys, or guys with eye-brow piercings, etc…blah blah blah my shallowness rambles. BUT he is just so mysteriously sexy! His figure is tall, slim, and slender with a beautifully faint tan and dark brown hair. He has snake bites, an eye-brow piercing, and gauged ears. (^_^) His voice is so deep and sensuous it makes every part of me tingle. The worst part of my infatuation is…I have absolutely no clue what his name is!! Occasionally, he’s on my bus going home and he sat next to me once and almost a second time, but he saw an empty seat and sat there instead. This past Tuesday, I was given the opportunity to sit next to him! But I just couldn’t bring myself to do so. Huhhh, this is so childish, but nerve wracking. He got a hair cut a few weeks ago and by golly, he looks even more handsome :D I can’t wait till Tuesday when I can see him again. If he decides to come to class, that is. :P

I’m not sure where my heart lies whenever I think of St. John. I want to say that I still do have intimate feelings for him, but that wouldn’t be necessarily true. He is a wonderful person, but I can’t be myself around him. I get so tense and jittery. My words start to stumble. I don’t know what comes over me when he’s by my side. His scent is just so luscious to me. There’s nothing like the reminiscent scent of a man on every part of your body after he leaves. I’m not sure. I’m not sure. I’m not sure. I am certain.

I am sure that I am uncertain.