The rainy day blog

I tend to blog on rainy days. Why, do you ask? I'm not too sure myself. the rain tends to bring out the true emotions from within. probably the only days i feel comfortable letting my guard down.
Well, it's a rainy, cloudy, very windy day and yet again I'm reminded of the solitary road i'm traveling. this is definitely snuggle, let's forget about our future, never mention our past, i love you kind of weather. I have much that I am confused about at this moment. Particularly on the situation that I'm in. I found my soul mate. Great news right? BUT he lives in LV. I have no idea if he feels the same and sometimes i don't especially cares if he does. All I know is that I want to love him and right now, I do love him. This isn't the premature infatuation most kids my age go through; you know, "I'm unable to concentrate on my work because I just want him to be next to me" or "How am I suppose to go through my day when everything I see reminds me of him." Instead, I am able to do my work knowing that he will be right next to me and I can go through my day because every little thing that reminds me of him, means that he is just a step closer to me. I feel as if I'm rambling and I've lost my train of thought. I don't know, maybe I'll blog something a little later on today or possibly this week.
To the boy who gives warmth to my coldest days: I love you in ways my words don't know how to express.

Pains.

It's that time again. I'm in a blogging mood. AKA I'm confused and need someone to listen to me. Gah, well to start off. I'm in pain, both emotionally and physically. Physically, the pain in my right lower abdomen is insane. I think I may have appendicitis and it literally scares me to death. :((( It's 5:49 and well, I've been up since around 5 because of the pain. It hurts even more to lay down and I could really go for a snooze right about now. :( I'm so scared!! This is perfect timing, too. My family and I are renting a cottage at Bellows because we're tenting our house for termites this Wednesday. My health is becoming a burden and I don't want to ruin anyone's excitement! UGH. I'm going to continue this blog a bit later, the pain is getting to be a bit much right now. But a preview? The emotional side of my pain.
I feel as if I'm trying to repress some feelings or emotions.
I don't know where I stand with Esai. I really adore him.
GROWING PAINS.
xo EV