Randomness of the Sorts.

What are your plans for the weekend? 
Hmm, Well!! Tomorrow is Christmas!
Saturday is errands day and Sunday I'm getting my hair cut with Kyla :D
 
Do you hate more than 3 people? 
I don't have the physical energy to put effort and emotion into hating anyone.
I'm simply fed up with the same old way people act. Frankly, I don't care to be around them, either.
 
How many houses have you lived in? 
Apparently 2. I only remember 1. That's all that matters.
 
Do you pick your wedgies in public? 
Discretely.
 
Favorite candy bar? 
Hmm, Twix! or Reece's :D
 
Have you ever tripped someone? 
Yes, I have. It's rather cruel. (-_-)
 
Least favorite school subject? 
Which ever horrible teacher makes it boring. I love learning.
 
How many pairs of shoes do you own? 
At least 10 (>.<)
 
Do you own a Britney Spears CD? 
I do.
 
Have you ever thrown up in public? 
Yes, once when I was a Wheee one!
 
Name one thing that is always on your mind: 
Music. In one form or another.
 
Favorite genre of music? 
That's tough! Classic Rock by far! *laughs*
 
What brand of toothpaste do you use? 
Colgate, I believe.
 
What time were you born? 
That, I'm not too sure of.
 
Do you like beer? 
I don't.
 
Have you made a prank phone call? 
Jessie &I had our own business firm.
Goats. From Ireland ;)
 
What is the most embarrassing CD you own? 
*sigh* Music isn't something to be embarrassed about.
Whatever soothes your ears.
Noise to one person is a savior's masterpiece to another.

What are you listening to? 
Queen. *Rock Face* Yeahhh!
 
What are your favorite colors? 
Teal, beige, Purple, Charcoal. Hmm, Warm colors basically!
 
How many watches do you own? 
About 10. All of which I do not use.
 
Summer or winter? 
Each has a quality the other lacks.
I can't just choose one over the other. Next question.
 
Is anyone in love with you? 
My family and hopefully a couple of my friends. That's all I can handle right now.
 
What is your favorite color to wear? 
Beige! It goes fabulously with my skin tone. *laughs*
 
Pepsi or Sprite?: 
Rootbeer or nothing.
 
Ever drink Clear Pepsi? 
I have never heard of clear Pepsi.
 
Have you been on a wave runner? 
I don't know what that is! I'm not in the mood to Google at the moment, either. *scrunches face*
 
Have you ever slapped someone? 
Sometimes that's the only way to keep your hos in line. Know what I mean? *giggles*
 
Do you own a robe? 
I don't. It's either a towel or nothing.
 
How many lamps are in your bedroom? 
Just my Disney lamp *smiles*
 
How many coats are in your coat closet? 
Being a Hawaii native.
 
Have you ever had braces? 
*smiles* Fortunately, I have not.
 
Do you still have your tonsils? 
I do!

Do looks matter in pursuit of a serious relationship? 
It's not the entirety of a relationship but looks do matter to a certain degree. Anyone that says it doesn't is a complete liar.
 
Do you use chapstick? 
I do not. That product doesn't even work for me.

When is the last time you went to the dentist? 
It's certainly been a while! I keep my teeth clean though.
 
American Eagle or Abercrombie? 
I despise both.
Abercrombie has sexy models though. Ladies and Men. *giggles*
 
Are you too forgiving? 
I used to be. But now I forgive only where it is deserved. 

How many children do you want? 
Preferably 3 but you aren't able to plan these things when you're only 18, right?

Do you own something from Hot Topic? 
A few jewelry pieces for my piercings, a shirt, maybe a jacket.
I'm not too keen on cheep, trendy stores. 

What is your favorite breakfast meal? 
Bacon, Fried rice, and an egg. That's how we do. *rubs tummy* 

Have you been to the zoo? 
Of course! It's a blast.
 
Ever thought you were in love? 
Many times.
 
Do you untie your shoes when taking them off? 
It all depends on my mood. If I'm tired and lazy, I don't even bother. 

What did you do yesterday? 
I hung out with Kyla, her younger brother, and I think it was her cousin! We saw a movie, went Christmas shopping, looked for Santa, and just walked around Ala Moana. I also introduced them to the Acai bowl. :D
 
Do you like Olive Garden? 
I have never eaten there before.
 
Have you ever called your teacher "mommy"? 
Being that I don't have a mom, I only use that word in reference to another person's mother.

Chuck Norris or David Hasselhoff? 
Chuck Norris kicks ass.
 
Your Nicknames? 
My dad calls me Jacs and Lia calls me Crackie. Everyone else either calls me Jackie or Jaclyn. Not very creative, aye? 

Last time you went to church? 
My home based church? *thinks* Probably my freshmen year of High school.
 
Ever been to Kentucky? 
I haven't traveled East of Texas.

Favorite state to visit? 
Washington and California. Nevada isn't too bad though :D
 
Are you thinking about somebody right now? 
Well, now that you mentioned it. *smiles, giggles*
 
Ever called somebody Boo? 
Jokingly. That's all that word is.
 
Do you smoke? 
Occasionally.
 
Do you own a diamond ring? 
Yes.
 
Are you happy with your life right now? 
I am very content, indeed.
 
Do you like your hair? 
I've grown to love it. I scheduled an appointment to have someone hack away at it though. *squints*
 
Does anyone have a crush on you? 
At this point, I don't have time to even notice.
 
Favorite scary movie? 
Wow, I have no idea. The Haunting in Conneticut?
 
What were you doing in May of 1994? 
Being a silly 3-year old. How about you?
 
Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? 
I don't! I've always wanted one but my dad said Rock is the best music out there. Truth even till this day.
 
Favorite roller coaster? 
The ones that spray water on you :D 

Do you like yourself? 
Confidently speaking, I do. You should, too.
 
Are you closer to your mother or father? 
Always my father. <3
 
Last book you read for fun? 
On the Road by Jack Kerouac. LOVELY!
 
Are you afraid of the dark? 
It depends on my state of mind.
 
Have you ever eaten paste? 
No, I can't say that I have! *laughs*
 
Do you own a webcam? 
It's built-in, baby.
 
Have you ever stripped? 
Always. I can't hop into the shower unless.
 
Pringles or lays? 
Not a potato-chip fan, sorry.
 
Ever use a fake ID? 
No. I beleive in living each year honestly. Otherwise there's nothing to look forward to when I actually am 21.
 
Ever dye or highlight your hair? 
Unforunately, I streaked my hair with bleach. Boy, was that a horrendous idea.
I prefer naturalness all the way.
 
Ever consider a life of crime? 
In other words, a life on the run? A life of hurting other for your own guilty pleasure?
There are so many lifestyles to choose from. I prefer others.
 
Have you ever broken someones heart? 
I would like to think I haven't.
 
Full house or Brady bunch? 
Full house!
 
Are your great-grandparents still alive? 
No, they are not.
 
Ever used crutches? 
Used? No. Played? Hmm, maybe. *winks*
 
Has anyone ever called you a tease? 
Regrettably.
 
Do you have any pets? 
2 African Grey Parrots. Both, might I add, can whistle the Adam's Family theme song.
 
Do you listen to techno music? 
Occassionaly. Electro is more pleasing to my ears.
 
Can you cook? 
I can. I'm pretty damn good, too. *giggles*
 
Ever eat ants on a log? 
*laughs* I have!
 
Do you text message often? 
*sheepishly whispering* There is rarely ever a day I do not!
 
Money or love? 
Love. 

Do you have any scars? 
I do. Beginner's bike-riding luck, you might say.
 
What was the last thing you ate? 
Sushi, hai!
 
Do you enjoy scary movies? 
I definitely do.
 
Relationships or one night stands?: 
I'm a bit weary of both.
 
Big red or Juicy fruit?: 
Juicy, Juicy.

Do you enjoy greasy food? 
Only if it's cooked in my house. We use healthy &clean oil.
 
Have you seen all the Rocky movies? 
The preview for the last one was too pathetic. 

Do you own a box of crayons? 
Of course.
 
Ever had sex and regretted it?
Life moves on even when you don't.
I don't regret anything.
 
Who was the last person you said "I love you" to? 
Lia!

Who was the last person that made you mad? 
This lady that cut me off in the parking lot.

Who was the last person that made you cry? 
I can't remember.
 
Who was the last person that made you laugh? 
The man at the grocery store.
 
Who was the last person that texted you?: 
Lia! (:
 
Who was the last person that called you?: 
Jessie! :D
 
Do you have a crush on someone?
I have feelings for a young man, yes. *smiles*

Whoo! I haven't done a survey I quite some time. How pleasing. (: Well, I have to finish wrapping presents. Merry Christmas (:

Dear Santa,

I want to share things with someone not only special but real; Whether it be just a thought or an intimate action. Someone who I can call after a hard day of work and have them listen and console me. Sometimes friends, as wonderful as they are, aren't enough. That's why we have partners. To fulfill needs that our friends cannot fulfill. I need someone to love unconditionally and who will love me unconditionally back. How does he do it? It's amazing how much a smirk or even just a glance can do wonders to the nerves. It's the only element in the human body that science can't define; which proves that you are in control, completely. I'm not too sure where I'm going with this and maybe I shouldn't. Life truly is amazing and if you don't stand up for yourself and get things done, nothing will happen. Regret is a horrible feeling and I've learned this the hard way.

Right down to the core, I feel as if I'm missing out on an amazing young man and I can't help but to think that he could be everything I need.

Love is the harmony
Desire is the Key.
Love is a melody.
Now sing it with me.
-Lykke Li

3 of a Distant Kind.

I haven’t posted a blog since September, here it is mid-November. Haww, how the days go by. Hm, a lot has happened since the last time I Blogged on here. Let’s see, I was still talking to the lovely boy from Vegas, but it’s been a couple weeks since we’ve talked. I gather he’s rather busy now, getting his life in order and everything. He added me on Facebook! He seems a lot happier these days, too; which is good to see. I’m always here whenever some is down. Yet, I don’t know if I like the fact of only being talked to because of that. Sometimes the cheerer upper needs cheering up.

Well, remember I had a huge crush on the boy in my Art class; whom might I say is also from Vegas? He’s handsome and I would love nothing more than to get to know him but of course, there’s someone else. The boy that sits RIGHT NEXT TO HIM IN CLASS! Now, this, THIS is shocking news; even to me! I have always said that I despised Filipino guys, or guys with eye-brow piercings, etc…blah blah blah my shallowness rambles. BUT he is just so mysteriously sexy! His figure is tall, slim, and slender with a beautifully faint tan and dark brown hair. He has snake bites, an eye-brow piercing, and gauged ears. (^_^) His voice is so deep and sensuous it makes every part of me tingle. The worst part of my infatuation is…I have absolutely no clue what his name is!! Occasionally, he’s on my bus going home and he sat next to me once and almost a second time, but he saw an empty seat and sat there instead. This past Tuesday, I was given the opportunity to sit next to him! But I just couldn’t bring myself to do so. Huhhh, this is so childish, but nerve wracking. He got a hair cut a few weeks ago and by golly, he looks even more handsome :D I can’t wait till Tuesday when I can see him again. If he decides to come to class, that is. :P

I’m not sure where my heart lies whenever I think of St. John. I want to say that I still do have intimate feelings for him, but that wouldn’t be necessarily true. He is a wonderful person, but I can’t be myself around him. I get so tense and jittery. My words start to stumble. I don’t know what comes over me when he’s by my side. His scent is just so luscious to me. There’s nothing like the reminiscent scent of a man on every part of your body after he leaves. I’m not sure. I’m not sure. I’m not sure. I am certain.

I am sure that I am uncertain.

Sometimes, I just need a hug.

The guy whom I'm madly falling for just told me he wishes he was dead every time he wakes up and that he feels like his life is a complete waste. It literally breaks my heart to hear those words. His gf for 4years doesn't want to be with him and his best friend betrayed him, I can't imagine the pain he's feeling. I wish I could physically be there to tell him that life moves on even when you don't. So why should you curl up in a ball and sulk while they're out having the time of their lives? It's a "Fuck it, I don't give a shit. I'm moving on to bigger &better things" situation.

I think we're embedded with the stigma that in order to live a happy life, you need an ample amount of friends. But really, you look at all these college kids with their big group of buddies, going out popping pills, railing some lines, &getting messed up every weekend; what happens when those days disappear? When those people decide to show their true colors? People always laugh at me and tell me I'm talking like a loner when I say, "It's better to be alone then with the wrong people." It's true. I see so many, adults and kids alike, go through the agonizing pain of being betrayed and in the end, I truly don't see how those 'good times' are worth it. My mother, she was one of those good timers. I feel like I'm the result of what happens when you don't think and just act. Now, she has two sons, a perverted husband, and the nerve to message me over Myspace after 15 years saying 'hi jackie, i miss you.' Sometimes at night, I wish that I'll someday run into her and get to tell her how much of a worthless piece of shit she really is. Not for leaving me, but breaking my dad's heart. But then again, does it make an impact? Do people like that have feelings? Or even care to have feelings? It's like telling a complete stranger, "I hate you." A bit pointless, I guess.

Fortunately, I'm able to say, I have a best friend. And you know what? I feel like the biggest person in the world because of it. I don't know a lot of people that are able to say that their best friend is someone they've known their whole life. I could care less if you are.

Since graduation, I feel like I've grown so much as a person. Although I didn't take advantage of my education like most High School students do, I like to think that I've made up for it in other ways. There's many times where I myself thought I had a shitty life and the most unfortunate things just had to happen to me but I think those moments where you think you've hit rock bottom and the experiences that make you cry every ounce of liquid out of your body, truly do make you stronger, wiser, and undefeatable. It makes me realize how happy I am to be where I am right now, at this exact moment in time.

To the big man up above, who ever you may be, keep the people I love dearest, safe. Please?

Waves of love.

Today I was a bit down. I honestly don't know what I did to deserve the way I'm being treated. I suppose you don't neccessarily get everything you deserve. Things really do happen for a reason and when one chapter in your life ends, another begins. I hold this to my heart dearly. The optimistic way of looking at life helps pull you through hard times. Sure, it's much easier to sit and sulk, but how long can you do that for? I spent most of today weeping and slugging around and I feel like I accomplished nothing! I must change that tomorrow for it is a new day and with a new day comes new beginnings of some things great.

I have this overwhelming feeling within me. I can't quite tell if it's to one specific emotion. Happiness is one. That is a fact. I'm in love but I feel a bit empty. This is the first man that I've been able to speak so freely and intimate with. There's days where I just want to snuggle and watch a movie with him but he's all the way in Las Vegas while I'm here in Hawaii. It's a bit crushing yet remarkable how one may be thousands of miles away yet make you feel so alive as if they were right next to you. I believe that if I were to marry anyone, it would be him. Charming is simply an understatement. I wish I could tell him thank you; how I see him to be perfect in each and every way his flaws allow him to be; how upon seeing him, I would hug him and not let go. Hopefully, I will have this opportunity do to this in person sometime soon.

Until then, this is dedicated to the boy whose smile warms my lonely soul:

My heart has a special beat for you. <3

Clouds of Grey

Yesterday, was an incredibly beautiful day. It was cool, cloudy, and mildly rainy. I loved it so much. I wish it was always like that in Hawai'i. I mean, it is actually possible to get sick of sunshiney weather, unfortunately. I really want to move to San Francisco or Seattle :D How about that?